Bungee Jumping at Chung-ju ho Lake

I regret everything. That was the only immediate thought in my head as I fell toward the ground below. Once I was a few seconds into my fall, it was the complete opposite. How freeing.

On a hiking expedition with my co-workers, I managed to find myself standing at the top of a 62 meter scaffold, getting strapped in to jump off. The metal tower swayed and creaked in the wind. I had two heavy harnesses around my feet and one around my waist. The men strapping me in didn’t look at me, or try to calm me. They led me to the edge, counted backwards, and that was it. The rest was up to me.

The thing is, I didn’t need calming. I took a deep breath and just let myself fall. What happened? Just two months ago I was crying in the Beijing airport at three am because I had never felt so stranded and scared (even though I refused to admit it to anyone). This was not the same girl who had to pace her apartment for two hours convincing herself to just open the damn door that first morning in Korea. Here she was: arms up, deep breath, fall. I didn’t even close my eyes, I let myself watch the up-side-down world bounce and spin around me and soaked in the sensation of free falling, only to bounce back up.

It’s funny how often the events going on in your life and what they represent directly
coincide with the personal matters going on in your life. This past week was awful. I am emotionally wiped out with some things going on back home. A few days after the worst day, I was looking back at my jump video and pictures and it just clicked: arms out, breathe, fall forward. I let some of my personal inhibitions go and chose to dive into something without letting my fears hold me back or hide how I was feeling. This was not pre- Korea me. Pre-Korea felt this way for a long time, was too scared, too proud, and too cautious.

After the fall we went on the most beautiful hike. It wasn’t easy. It was the most intensive hike I have been on yet. A few times I stopped to look around me, trying to force myself to accept that I couldn’t keep going. But it didn’t feel right. I refused to give up, I pushed myself far out of my comfort zone, and it was worth every gasping, wheezing, breath. Rocks jutted out from the surrounding mountains forming cliffs over the lake. The trees bowed out of the line of sight creating curtains to frame the landscape. A group of us sat at the top of the mountain for about an hour. There was some casual conversation, but for the most part we just took in the scene.

 

 

If I had given up on what I knew I wanted, I would have regretted everything.

-K.